my hope for 2026

It only has meaning because we give it one. This was my thought as I stared at the lighted Christmas tree in the living room. What does it mean then? Does it mean anything? I put all the parts together and I created this thing, plugged it in and it sits there until I take it down. I was going to do that as soon as Christmas was over but I kind of like having it there. It reminds me of the holidays and that my family is all here. We are together. That is its meaning, even if I'm watching tv all by myself. My husband had fallen asleep while we were watching. This is by no means a new concept. It happens most times. I think he's lived his entire life falling asleep while watching tv. I never wanted a tv in the bedroom. I was used to not having it and also happy not to be the person that falls asleep with the tv on. I still like to watch in the living room although it is useful to have a tv in the room for when I can't. 

As the year is about to end, I have to wonder if all the experiences we have truly lead up to something, and do they contribute to the bigger picture. They should, right? Otherwise, what is it all for? This is how we make sense of life, of books, of movies. When you have parts that don't contribute to the story, does that mean that they shouldn't be there? They should not exist? In our life, should nothing random exist? I think of my friend, just turned 50, and dealing with things that most 50 year old women don't have to deal with. The choices that have to be made, none of them are easy. It makes me grateful that I don't have any real decisions that I need to make right now. I can just be.

I finally did get myself to Sukoshi. It took several trips to the mall but I was able to buy a nice moisturizer. I've also discovered a parking area that is seldom used, right by a bus stop that I didn't know existed. Maybe it's all new. The mall is always packed these days. Not surprising since it's still the holidays. It's not the best place to go walking, especially with my husband in tow. He needs to avoid crowds. It's just not good for him. So we decided that today would be a good day to go out and eat. I thought that maybe it would be super busy tomorrow night because it's New Year's Eve but today, most people are probably home. We went to Bluefin and then Mango Mango. 

Mango crepe with Nutella and ice cream

I am amazed that we actually can have dinner and dessert that is relatively drama free. Where no one is being weird or throwing a tantrum. My husband seemed in good spirits, despite having to go to the office to clean up trash, basically. I finally got a proper set of wire cutters and can change the strings on the Epiphone. I will have to wait until tomorrow though because we got back kind of late and I still wanted to watch tv. This was a good day. I hope for more of these days in the coming year. 

Playlist Recommendation: Blackbird, The Beatles