Thinking... thinking...

My husband proudly told me this morning that he renewed the Peacock subscription. I appreciate it, of course, and I hope he realizes that even as he reads the looks on my face and follows with, "Oh, what you wanted was Paramount+, right? 

I'm watching The Voice and there it is, the song I was going to sing, and this young girl with a big voice is singing it, a little like the way I imagined I wanted to sing the song. She's doing it for a singing contest though, so I can see the bits where she's allowed to show off her singing chops. See, I could never do a singing contest. I would already pass out at the prospect of the audition. But, hearing the song sung by someone else kind of upset me a little. Someone else had that idea and they got to show the world before I did. But hearing that she was going for a James Bond vibe, ok, that's not what I wanted to do. I really wasn't feeling like doing anything today but now I want to move that song up from the B-list and work on it. 

It's a guilty pleasure, watching these singing competitions. It takes a lot of bravery, opening yourself up to all the criticism that a performance can bring. I hear really amazing singers, not a note out of place, none of those little problems that I constantly have like running out of breath (diaphragm exercises, I know) or just simply running out of power to support a note. But when they choose, what to my ear sounds like the wrong song for them, or I simply don't love the song, it breaks my heart, because the cruel reality is that sometimes you have to cater to what you think other people want to hear or what record people will want to buy. Don't even get me started on what feels like a real bias in favor of country. These singing contests have introduced me to a lot of country. I've become a real Dan + Shay fan because of The Voice although I have already heard of them before (Tequila was something I had on an old playlist). It takes guts to stick to what you believe in. When you don't have to make those compromises, that is a gift.

Today, the only thing that limits me is really the skill, or lack of it, for now. I am hoping that with lessons and practice, I will be able to broaden my list of songs. I have a binder that is filled with songs I've selected because I want to learn them. I can sing and play some of them and some I'd like to try but I can't... yet. I would bring this to my guitar lesson and see what the teacher says. To record, I would need to have a firm idea of what the intro needs to sound like and how the song is supposed to end. And then there are parts where in the original record, maybe there's a guitar solo and I'm not doing that (or can I????) so I need to figure out what I'm supposed to do during those parts. Learning to sing a song is one thing but singing while playing an instrument, that's a whole nother ball game.

Don't think about it too much

Playlist Recommendation: Love Song, The Cure