a charity case

On the call with the student yesterday, she mentioned that she had expressed interest in becoming an ambassador for the Honors College and would be attending a meeting to learn more about it. I thought she was joining a beauty pageant, which if she was, I would be very supportive of. While I don't know anything about being a pageant mom and I certainly would not have encouraged her to go this route if she was 8, I think college is not a terrible time to think about it. Well, it is not a pageant. So crush my hopes of Miss Grand International, where with newly-crowned Emma Mary Tiglao, the Philippines earned the distinction of having the first consecutive title-holders from the same country in the pageant's brief history.

Pageants have changed much over the years but one thing that you can count on is that beautiful women will be walking down a kind of runway in a long gown at some point. My nephew's wedding last April was a long gown affair. My husband wasn't keen on black tie but I didn't mind spending time in search of an appropriate dress for myself and the student to attend this wedding. I loved that we could do that because honestly, how many times in your lifetime might you need a long gown? I was pretty excited because I love dressing my children. Birthdays, Picture Day, Orchestra Concerts, Prom, Homecoming, awards ceremonies of all sorts and of course, graduation... these all call for a new outfit and therefore is an opportunity for me to play stylist. I'm thankful that even now, they allow me to offer advice when it comes to what is appropriate for the more important formal or semi-formal occasions in their lives. The lessons in fit, fabric and the importance of tailoring do not seem to be lost on them. It is my hope that when they stand in front of the three-way mirror and I'm having a discussion with the alterations lady about what needs to be done to give the dress a perfect fit, they are understanding the reasons for each little change made and what things are most important when you buy a garment. I also want them to feel comfortable and look polished, without ever thinking that the price tag is the thing that matters the most. No, darling. It's how you look in the garment. 

I hope that I will still be alive if any of my children decide to marry and that they would like to share some of that special time with me, even if it's just accessories shopping. I would so enjoy that. I know some brides want to go dress shopping on their own and I respect that. After I got engaged, I set about trying to figure out where I would get my dress. I wanted to get it done before I left for Philadelphia. Of course, this is not going to be an episode of Say Yes To The Dress because the only way I thought this wedding gown business would go was for me to get one custom-made. That was just always how we did it. Our head of production at the station said go ask one of the DJs, his brother is a designer. Oooooh, he is a designer but that's crazy, he would never have time for me. Well, what did I have to lose? I asked and I was granted a meeting. 

I brought an old bridesmaid's dress with me, one I wore to my brother's wedding 11 years before, which was already a reimagination of my eldest sister's debutante gown from her 18th birthday, 9 years before that. When the designer asked me what I envisioned for my wedding gown, I remember thinking, so that's how these consultations go. I love that he never forced his ideas on me and he explained that usually brides come in with some vision in mind so I showed him what I brought and said how I wanted to incorporate the fragile lace but also that I do not want anything that exposes the shoulders. He asked me what I thought about something sleeveless and he started sketching. His next question was, what was my budget? I struggled to give him a number because truthfully, I never thought about it. I just spit out something random but I was so embarrassed because it was so, so low and I started to worry that he would say no. But he was very cool about it. As he sketched, I remember looking around and seeing pictures of Kris Aquino in his atelier. A couple more strokes, and there was my gown on paper. With his gentle voice, he asked me when I needed it by. I gave him a date, he told me to come back in 3 weeks for a fitting and then again 2 weeks after that. I think the total time I gave him was about 6 weeks, which is insane for a custom gown. He came through, although I never did see him again. The old lady who oversaw the fitting was very, very nice and I think she knew that I was basically a charity case. When I picked up my dress, she showed me that they even made a small matching drawstring pouch for whatever I wanted to carry in it. She also asked if I could mail them a photo from the wedding, which I did.

 

I desperately wanted to give JC Buendia some proper business after that, when I had a better budget. Four gowns needed to be designed and made for the wedding party which I asked my maid of honor to be in charge of. Unfortunately, she said, it seemed that they were really too busy at the time and JC was abroad, so we gave the job to some other designer. My younger daughter has expressed a sentimental idea, that maybe she could wear my dress when she got married. I'm concerned about how the now 40 year old lace will hold up and the damage that the cleaners made to a part of it. I said, we can certainly ask JC to pull the design out of his archives or maybe, if he had the time, he could design a new one for you. I don't mind paying full price.

Playlist Recommendation: You've Got a Way, Shania Twain